Network Confirms Knoxville Pregnant!

The Network that funds and films Challengers of the Fucking Impossible have finally confirmed what was the worst kept secret on the planet next to Giggs and his off pitch fun, yes, Knoxville is pregnant! The highly embarrassing and incredible situation kicks all of his work commitments for the next three months into touch leaving him a perspective single parent with no income.
The challengers found themselves in familiar surroundings when their stunt backfired in the finale of their show which saw the living planet Ego having sex with a lonely floating orb that the challengers had named 'Delilah.' With the masters of mayhem set on the planet, waiting for Ego; the last of his race, to start mating with the planet, holding cameras to capture the event even they must have figured out that it was gonna go bad; but no, they sat grinning wickedly, ready to film the first celestial porno.
As Ego released his probe and inserted it into Delilah the earth shock and reception was poor but it seems that he pumped vast amounts of spore like pods into the planet that came pouring out of the aperture they had created for him. It took just fifteen seconds for Ego to shoot his bullet, proving himself not the greatest lover in the universe. The spores flooded the area and once one had been absorbed then all the others seemed to flood towards Knoxville, turning his eyes completely white! After that Knoxville later quoted that it was like a million voices all crying out at once and then were suddenly silenced.
Ego removed his love proboscis and moved away looking dazed but was back within ten minutes to try again, this time lasting over a minute before again spilling his seed, again the spores seemed to be absorbed into Knoxvilles skin who could best be described as feeling 'very full.' Twice more this occurred before the Challengers could escape to a safe distance. Luckily for them they got off just in time as the gravametric and seismic force of his probing proved too much for Delilah who exploded right in his face leaving him tired but very happy.
The challengers returned to Earth to seek medical advice and were kept waiting as Twitter went mad, claiming Knoxville was celestially pregnant. This was confirmed by the Network as they also confirmed that Knoxville was examined by a cosmic expert who gave Knoxville the run down on what he could expect.
'Its likely that he will swell till he simply cannot take it anymore, this is likely to take maybe a month or two, then he will expel mini planets no bigger than your fist into space (probably through his arse) where i will collect them and take them to rest and grow in the orbit of their father Ego, who has agreed to allow Knoxville visiting rights whenever he can come and the mini spheres have developed atmosphere capable of supporting their  Earth father,' said the Silver Surfer who was called in to help with the situation. 'This will be a difficult time for all involved but I'm sure we must all also celebrate an unprecedented cosmic event, the repopulating of a species!'

Icon, Knoxvilles friend had this to say about the event and its coming difficulties, 'We returned home and Johhny seemed fine, then, during dinner, he started too..., he...this thing...no sorry. Erm, yes this was unexpected and certainly is exciting! We are looking forward to the birth immensely, at least me and Jack are, i think Johhny is slightly scared of passing large lumps of living rock through his ass but if you cant do the time you shouldn't do the crime. As i stands Johhny is on a strict diet of Larger and Pot as the Surfer said it would help the planetoids grow in him that bit better. I don't know why, its cosmic shit. But this time? Well...Failure is not an option.'

Asked if this will force them to tone down their adventures in future Osbourne laughed and claimed it was just going to spur them on to bigger and better things. The footage of Ego doing the dirty is now the most watched YouTube video in history with over a billion hits.
Verity Luce