Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Union Jack Wanted for Questioning!

MI13 have shockingly announced that Union Jack, the Ex Crusader, has gone AWOL from her duties at the agency and is wanted for questioning in connection with the leaking of important secrets to terrorists.

Union Jack fled six days ago, reportedly from a combat situation that resulted in the severe injuring of several MI13 agents, and has taken a young member of the MI13 powered branch with her; a young agent known as Aspect.

MI13 spokesman Thomas Cauldron was quick to point out the ex hero was wanted for 'questioning' and is not formally charged with any crime at the present time.

'I have worked with both Union Jack and Aspect in my time at MI13 and always thought them to be brave and honest people,' he told the gathered press.

'To think that they have turned or have always been spies is very hard to believe. This is a strange world with so many complicated situations that I can but hope that this is a misunderstanding or an operational duty that they have seen fit to take alone.

We are aware that sensitive plans, files and documents have been passed to an enemy and illegal organisation and that both Union Jack and Aspect were in some way connected to the events. That doesn't mean they are traitors or spies, its just that clarification needs to be gained on the situations and circumstances of the events.

I'm not saying they have broken our trust or betrayed their comrades on the field of battle though I can confirm that they disappeared from a field of combat and without their support the other members of the MI13 team were severely wounded.

In reality all I'm asking is that they come in and debrief so we can better understand what has taken place. We also know they have something that belongs to MI13 in their possession and we would like it returned so that the amount of distractionary elements surrounding this case can be dealt with effectively and without further confusion.

We have asked the Police and other emergency services to report any sightings of Union Jack or Aspect so that we can have members of MI13 attend the location and convince the two AWOL heroes to come in peacefully.

We would like to assure the public that the two heroes are not considered armed, or dangerous and that they are not, I repeat, not wanted for any crimes. We just want to clarify our position and return them to service as quickly as possible.

Thank You.'

So far Union Jack and Aspect have yet to be spotted and it is believed they are at large somewhere in Great Britain.

  

Vault Reports Twp Escaped Villains

The S.H.I.E.L.D run superhuman containment facility known as 'The Vault' yesterday admitted that two more Villains serving lengthy sentences had managed to escape without the authorities even noticing they were gone!

S.H.I.E.L.D Director Steve Rogers has opened an enquiry into how the two villains, Believed to be The Power Broker and The Wizard, were able to not only escape undetected but to have gone a week without being listed as missing. 

Director Rogers was not forthcoming with answers at the press conference. 'We know that two Villains have escaped from this facility and we know that No prison is inescapable when one has conviction and ingenuity. That being said we have to ask ourselves who is helping these criminals escape and why?

No one breaks out The Wizard and expects him to follow a plan unless he himself would gain something from it.

Be assured we will find these two criminals and return them to their cells and we will track their accomplices no matter where they hide. Thank You.'

This recent breakout brings the total amount of villains to have escaped S.H.I.E.L.D custody in the last seven months to a total of seventeen. A record Rogers is obviously not happy about.

Saturday, 20 October 2012

MI13 Deny's Heavy Handed Tactics

MI13 have appeared before a commons committee to answer critics who have suggested the agency is using disproportionate force on a regular basis. MI13 spokesman Thomas Cauldron answered questions about the recent killings of three wanted super villains and the two incidents in public hospitals that saw six MI13 non powered agents killed and the people they were guarding assassinated.

Mr Cauldron came out of the committee meeting all guns blazing.

'What we have to do is ask what people expect from MI13,' said Cauldron outside Westminister straiht after the meeting. 'Do people like the lack of powered attacks in this country? Do they like being able to count on an agency to respond quickly when required and step in when the non professionals can't contain the situation or are taking a beating? Do they like peace and quite and relative safety?

Do the people of this country really want MI13 to be a toothless organisation, unable to respond to threats with a reasonable amount of force? I don't think so.

The fear of being perceived as the aggressor is not something that should choke our ability to fight for our freedom and its not going to result in our agents going in 'gently' only to be slaughtered. We have lost too many agents recently...most importantly the Ex-New Crusader 'Fury'.

Should we just line up coffins for our agents because they have to go into battle with one hand tied behind their backs? Is that what you would have us do?

No. No it isn't and I think we all know the problem here. The problem is not with MI13 and it's not with The Crusaders, no matter how disorganised they may be. No. I think the problem is with an entirely different body in this country.'

Mr Cauldron later apologised for any offence he may have caused to the Committee but refused to retract his statements.

Miliband Calls For Investigation Into Cloning

The Crusaders found themselves at the centre of another storm this week when rumours of illegal Cloning became a source of a parliamentary debate. 

The labour leader Ed Miliband called for a public enquiry into the hero team known as The Crusaders and their 'behind the scenes activities.' Suggesting the team may be breaching public health and safety rules and international laws regarding the prohibition of Cloning. 

Not content with that enquiry call Miliband also suggested that biological samples be taken from the Crusader members Anathema, Apex and Sinner to check for signs of possible Sentry virus.

So far the government has not confirmed they are looking seriously into pursuing these lines of questioning but if more pressure is brought to bare on the Prime Minister it seems likely that some inquest will need to be mounted.

   

Monday, 15 October 2012

CENTRAL LONDON ATTACK CLAIMS 22 LIVES

The Crusaders broke with the current incarnations tradition and spoke to the press at the end of a dark day for them and London that saw twenty two dead and hundreds injured.

The U-Foes; an American super villain quartet most famous for battling the Hulk, were the source of the pain that tore at central London last week and caused so much damage in the process. In a very short battle with the Crusaders one of their members; 'Ironclad', managed to create several localised earthquakes that caused millions of pounds of damage and created shock waves that tore the streets apart, causing the loss of life.

The Crusaders fought the U-Foes as well as they could, trying to contain the deadly force that they represented, but were unable to stop them from devastating the surrounding area and taking the lives they did. They did however use a as yet unconfirmed teleportation ray that removed three of the four U-Foes from the battlefield. The fourth member, Vector, was left dead in the streets, killed when his team mate unleashed his super strength onto the streets.

Vector was confirmed to have died of a multiple fractures to the skull and his cause of death was similar to the Twelve policemen, two ambulance staff and six members of the public who died.

Following the battle the beaten and some clearly badly injured Crusaders helped the rescue teams for many hours before finally moving away.

In the week that has followed work has begun on making the area safe to traverse and work in once more and MI13 have confirmed that all three remaining members of the U-Foes were caught in the Devon area but were killed by MI13 agents when they would not surrender.

The Crusaders leader, Gamma, left this message on the night of the incident.

'We are not the Crusaders who often make public statements but we wanted to express our deep regret for the events of today and our shock at the heinous terrorist attack which has been carried out in the heart of this great country and our regret that our actions were not swift enough to be able to prevent this loss of life.

We pass our condolences on to all those who have lost loved ones and all of those who have been injured and we will do our best to prevent this from happening again and to help all the victims on this sad and tragic day.

That's all.'

The Crusaders have themselves been criticised by some camps claiming that they simply didn't understand the battle they needed to fight and were clearly out powered, but others have pointed out that this was clearly an attack meant to create as much damage and loss of life as possible while drawing the Crusaders to the heart of the event.

Another shock from the battle was the appearance of The Crusader 'Sinner' who was reported dead and confirmed to have been so for at least two weeks and yet was back fighting with the team.Some experts are claiming that the Crusaders are obviously running an illegal and unsanctioned cloning operation while others have pointed to the hero Anathema as the source of 'Sinner's' Resurrection and have suggested that it is clearly this sort of power that could lead to the 'Sentry virus' taking a foothold in this dimension once more.

Clearly this team is soon to be in the middle of a media, spiritual and political storm that could threaten the teams very existence.


Monday, 8 October 2012

Sigur Karlson Defeats The Wrecking Crew

Sigur Karlson, ex M.P from the fractured Norweigan parlament engaged the American Villain team known as 'The Wrecking Crew' in combat and defeated them single handedly on Sunday as they were trying to escape with a large consignment of diamonds they had just stolen from a jewellers.

Three of the Wrecking Crew still had their weapons while their leader, obviously diminished in power because of his missing weapon, did not. Karlson landed in the middle of the road and attacked the legendarily tough villains with a hammer that he fired lightening from. 

The battle was brutal but within a matter of minutes the Villains were downed. Karlson then scattered the diamonds to the crowds of wounded and helpers and told them that the wealth would soon 'be shared by all.'

Many experts are placing Karlson as being a 'level five' powered individual, ranking him in amongst the strongest Crusaders and placing him in main stay Avenger status. 

The Norweigan government have put an arrest warrant out on the 'hero' but so far have found no answer as to who is going to bring this possibly rogue element in.

MI13 In M25 Crash Cover-Up

Questions mounted yesterday when a freelance journalist named Steven Hung uncovered a bizarre operation to fabricate the existence of a Rugby team that were killed in a crash on the M25 three weeks ago.

Though a minibus was indeed destroyed in a fatal crash that claimed the lives of twenty people the Rugby club the men in the minibus played for turned out to be a non existent team that had had only been added to the pub fixtures lists a week before the crash.

None of the men in the crash have been identified and Metropolitan police are currently running computer simulators to digitally reconstruct the faces of the men killed in the hope they will be identified that way.

In an even more frightening twist the cover-up seems to have been run by MI13 and their agents.

Yesterday Thomas Cauldron was unavailable to comment on the events and assured the press he would give a statement as soon as he was able to do so.

Saturday, 6 October 2012

Crusaders Battle At Police Station

The metropolitan police have praised the Crusaders for their restraint on Tuesday, managing to successfully containing a powered conflict in a London Police Station in Newham and so protecting the officers in the building above and the community around the station itself.

The Crusaders were at Strafford Police Station to collect the body of their fallen comrade 'Sinner' when they were attacked by a group of powered individuals that outnumbered them two to one.

The Crusaders assailants were known to authorities as being young criminals with unknown affiliations who were delivered into custody nearly two years ago by the very same hero team that delivered them on Tuesday.

Interpol stepped in and took the young criminals into custody before MI13 could arrest the ten villains and had a catchment unit at the station with-in twenty minutes and had them transported to a secure facility. The Crusaders left the scene quickly with the body of their fallen team mate without comment but ex Crusader and MI13 officer Fury was on the scene to speak to the press.

'We have attended the scene and its obvious that The Crusaders are in full command of the situation. They were attacked in the basement by a far larger force of very dangerous powered individuals and to be honest they bested them on every level,' she said while flanked by Blade and ex Avenger Black Knight.

'I can confirm they have left the building and that they contained the fight into the area that they knew was reinforced so limiting the amount of damage done to the building and surrounding area. It's a sign of class and confidence and I know I speak for everyone at MI13 and Both Director Wisdom and Deputy Director Chapman when I say we couldn't be happier to know The Crusaders are out on the streets making a real difference/'

Monday, 1 October 2012

CRUSADER'S BODY FOUND IN THAMES

A shocking development in Britain's hero community unfolded this morning when the Crusader know as Sinner was found floating dead in the Thames.

Sinner
The police and MI13 were quick to respond to the report and take the body into safe keeping but not before an private expert team of investigators managed to look over the body and have released their findings on the Internet.

They have concluded that the body of the hero 'Sinner' had been in the water approximately two weeks and that his body is believed to have probably been in the storm drains and was almost certainly washed out into view by the increased rainfall over the weekend.

In even more horrifying news they concluded that the hero suffered an unpleasant death having been badly beaten in a static position and hanged for a prolonged period of time before finally the cause of death clearly being drowning. 

'Sinner' was last seen in New York in amidst a battle between the currently warring X-Men and Avengers and that was surely close to the time of death that the experts have put on the hero. He was obviously a tough and battle hardened hero having come through the war the Crusaders have waged against crime and the far right over the last three years but perhaps the possible isolationary attitude that has been his calling card in the last six months or so had left him vulnerable to attack.

Clearly whoever did kill 'Sinner' had a grudge that was played out in his brutal demise. 

At this time none of the surviving Crusaders have commented on the news though surely it can only be a matter of time before they move to solve their comrades death and punish those responsible.       

Norway Government In shocking revelations

Controversial Norwegian political figure Sigur Karlson resigned this morning in a shocking way; by punching the prime minister of Norway on live national television and exposing him as a Nazi!

Karlson had called the press conference and had asked the Prime Minister of Norway, Magnus Wagner, to be there on stage with him when he delivered his speech. A speech that is likely to go down in the history of their country as one of the most explosive speeches ever delivered.

'Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming. I have gathered you here today to announce my resignation from my post as an M.P representing the people in this great country. I know that many believe me to be a man of integrity and intelligence and so perhaps would wonder why I would quit a post that I obviously love.

There is one simple answer to that question. I cannot abide corruption.

The gentleman behind me, Mr Magnus Wagner, has been a great man, representing a great nation...on the surface, and yet underneath he has been a strong and true member of the organisation known as Hydra for the last twenty years.'

At this point the room erupted into noise as Karlson stepped back indicated to some men that arrived with him to block the stairs leading up to the podium. Mr Wagner stood but did not try to escape and with chaos ensuing Karlson continued.

'I discovered the links between our wonderful Prime Minister and Hydra purely by accident and though I have collected all the proof you would ever need and am currently having copies delivered to every news agency in the land I wanted to express my shock and disgust at this revelation.

How could this man be so high up in our fair and just system and yet be so obviously corrupt and evil? Simple, you are all sheep! You read what you are told to read, believe what you are told to believe! I am resigning because of this filthy criminal that sits behind me but I am also resigning because of the filth that sits before me! In this room there are at least ten members of the press who have known about this because they too have allowed Hydra and other affiliated groups to hide here and have suppressed any news that would uncover the horrible truth! The TRUTH THAT WE ARE ALL GUILTY!

GUILTY OF LYING DOWN WITH THE ENEMY AND SUPPORTING MURDERERS AND BUTCHERS!' Animated, arms swinging wildly Karlson indicated for the doors to be locked by more men that arrived with him.

'Now comes the reckoning. I know who you are and I will expose you, no matter your age, with the true might of the people of the north, with the fist given me by THE TRUE THOR!'

Spinning Karlson delivered a blow to Wagner that smashed him from the podium and broke most of the bones in his face. He then proceeded to attack ten more people in the crowd, still being broadcast live to the world.

At the end of this fluffy of violence Karlson stretched his hand into the air transformed into a figure of with obviously great mystical power. As the crowd trembled he delivered his final warning.

'I, the true envoy of Thor have power now to lance this evil from our land and hunt it wherever I find it! If you are guilty! If you have laid down with the enemy then beware! I AM COMING FOR YOU!!'

At this time the Avenger Thor is yet to comment on the events taking place in Norway and the parliament has been called to consider how best to move forward from these revelations and the obvious ones still to come.

 

Body Found In Woods

Police have confirmed that the body of a man was found in woods this morning by a dog walked and that they are investigating. 

The man discovered the body when he was walking his dog in local woodland in Devon. Due to high winds in the area many of the trees had been felled churning up the ground and so exposing the body. 
The police have not released any information at this time and claim their investigation is 'ongoing' but unofficial reports suggest the body was in some sort of spandex costume when it was discovered.

 

MI13 Investigates Hospital Shootings

Thomas Cauldron
Its been a long week for MI13 following the hospital shootings just six days ago that claimed the lives of five MI13 officers and their two charges but yesterday they came out fighting there corner claiming; 'There is no security breach in our organisation.'

'The fact is we have seen the crime figures decrease to a record low in this country, that's due to the hard work of the police, Interpol, the intelligence services and MI13,' spat Thomas Cauldron as he stood outside MI13's main base just outside of London. 'We have had a lot of input into the current state of affairs and this incident doesn't signal there is a huge problem in MI13, in fact it shows we have very few as this is the first real incident outside of our control in the last twelve months.'

MI13 spokesman Thomas Cauldron is not one to let his organisation take criticism lying down but the stance taken suggested there may be strain finally showing on his usually unflappable face.

When first it was reported the incident it seemed MI13 were going to be as secretive as usual about the details of the events until Dr Marcus Maudlin went live on camera and claimed that the agents had gunned each other down and that The Crusaders were on the scene and could verify his version of events. This revelation brought MI13 into full on press assault mode and saw Mr Maudlin hit with a silencing order until they could get their official story sorted.

A day later they came back with this press release.

'On Tuesday night there was an incident in two hospitals involving MI13 un-powered operatives and sadly five MI13 officers were killed. The two security details failed in their mission to protect two persons of interest (one situated in each hospital) and MI13 is now investigating fully into suggestions that it was an internal failure of security with-in both teams that led to the deaths of their charges.

We cannot comment further until our investigation is completed in entirety and the facts have been ascertained.'

Cauldron came out of the pits with real fire yesterday and it was clear he was not in the mood for half measures.

'Our investigation has concluded and we have discovered that an agent in each of the security teams had been 'gotten too' by a criminal organisation that wanted both of the men they were protecting dead, they succeeded,' he fired at the crowd of assembled press and banks of cameras. 'This is an unfortunate event but one we have dealt with now.'

Seeing as the two men are dead and their targets hit it more seems, Mr Cauldron, that THEY have been dealt with and not the criminal organisation, but please, continue.

'We have assigned units to deal with the problem and to liaise with the police so that the right men and women are brought to justice. This is, I would like to point out, not a system wide problem. We have hundreds of operatives and run dozens of operations a month that the press never hears about. Why? Because we are very good at what we do and that is a fact.

On the night in question we were had a unit tracking a team of assassins who had entered London, probably to commit a serious crime. We helped in the containment and restricting of any damage they could do. So you can see we are on top of the situation completely.'

Cauldron may be the press officer for MI13 but there can be no doubt that MI13's 'external' operations unit is almost certainly draining a vast amount of their budget and with their efforts being focused in other places it seems clear there is a greater chance of breaches like these happening more frequently in the future.