MI13 APPOINT INTERIM DIRECTOR

Lord Ferguson

The British Government have appointed an interim director of MI13 in the hope of saving the organisation from being completely wiped out as investigations into foreign influence, corruption, breaches of international law and now war crimes are under way.

Speaking from West minister early this morning Ex Crusader Caber; Lord Feral Ferguson, had this announcement to make.

'We have been served well by MI13 as an organisation and though these revelations concerning the current operating staff are shocking I do not believe we should shut this much needed wing of our defence network.

It is clear that MI13 have got all the experts that they need, all the tactical and intelligence operatives they could need. What they have clearly lacked is a moral compass and a power to back that view of right and wrong. We aim to turn this ship around and back to its glory days!

Director Of MI13 Union Jack

Peter Wisdom was an excellent director but due to injuries suffered over these last few years and some decisions that we are investigating it seems clear he must be used as a consultant at most in this new vision of MI13. I can confirm that there was a power that was influencing our operatives and Mr Chapman when they were breaking every rule under the sun and so we need a new approach, a strong mind and a director who is capable of making tough decisions when armed with multiple facts and is also capable of working under the frame work of this government.



I am pleased to announce that MI13 will now have to clear major decisions through a committee to be chaired by myself but will be run on a day to day basis by The Crusader Union Jack.

I have had many conversations with Jack and I have found her to be a motivated and strong minded young woman who knows the old faces of MI13 but had the courage to brake away when she needed to and fight the injustice eating at its core.

To support her will be the old Captain Britain; Lord Brian Braddock, who will act as a secondary moral compass and make sure the organisation makes the right decisions for the right reasons.

I look forward to the future of MI13 and I hope it can weather this storm under new leadership and rebuild its reputation in the coming months and years.'

CRUSADERS ATTACK MI13

Corruption and evidence of criminal activity at the heart of MI13 and their Director Joseph Chapman was acted upon by The Crusaders last week when they arrived at the gates of the MI13 air base with a warrant from Interpol and the U.N demanding the immediate surrender and detention of Chapman.

The MI13 guards were forced to lower their weapons by MI13 spokesman Thomas Cauldron and the team were allowed to enter the base being backed up three members of La Resistance and the Russian Super Soldier The Matrix. As the Crusaders walked through the gates the controversial figure of La Haine was seen joining them with French Strongman Bastille and La Resistance leader Legionnaire along with The Matrix and as they moved towards the operations building it became Chapman wasn't going to give up without a fight.

From the central hanger came Chapman, dressed in his Union Jack costume being backed by Brian Braddock, the New Crusaders Captain Britain, The Black Knight and Blade as well as a team of villains who have been bested by The Crusaders several times known by the media as 'The Black Pawns.'

Fung Chi, now the wielder of the legendary Iron Fist, led the Crusaders towards the enemy and Gloop, Gamma, Union Jack, Aspect, Not Alice and Apex faced Chapman's forces without flinching.

Chapman was ordered to surrender and in return told the Crusaders that it was 'his base, his organisation and if they did not leave he would make sure this was the last day of their lives.' No more preamble was needed, it was clear that there was only one way to bring him in, and The Crusaders know all about the directed application of force.

The battle commenced and even though the Crusaders were outnumbered they quickly asserted their authority and showed their quality on the field. Fung Chi and Not Alice attacked the 'Black Pawns' and removed many of their number with ease through their now undeniable power and ability to co-ordinate attacks. Aspect was engaged in direct combat by Chapman, Braddock attacked Bastille, Apex found Black Pawn leader Pogo, a far more invigorated Gamma of late attacked the Black Knight, Union Jack backed up Bastille, and Gloop provided support for his team as he does best.

The fight was fast and brutal, with Blade and Le Haine battling furiously in the centre of the field. Union   Jack provided several blows upon Braddock which rocked him to the floor allowing Bastille to engage the power house and survive, the final blow to Braddock being dealt by Not Alice.

At the beginning of the combat The New Crusader Captain Britain was attacked by an unknown source though some believe it to have been his ex team mate Mr Scratch. He was confirmed dead on the scene , having been decapitated by his unconfirmed assailant.

Aspect fought the criminal Chapman, displaying great skill as they grappled and twisted, fighting for dominance before Aspect made the brake through and based Chapman's face against a steel bar till he slumped unconscious to the floor.

Apex made light work of Pogo and they gave assistance to subdue the remaining Black Pawns at the back along with Fung Chi and Aspect.

In the centre of the combat The Black Knight proved his pedigree by dropping Gamma with several well place sword strokes but was unable to suffer an onslaught from Gloop that left him stunned, a vicious series of kicks from the Russian speedster The Matrix and finally a full body charge from the impressive Union Jack!

With the stragglers defeated and Le Haine finally able to prove his superiority over Blade the battle was ended and the Interpol officers were able to get inside the facility and make sure that evidence could not be tampered with or destroyed.

The current investigation into MI13 and the going's on on their base are being headed up by several agencies that are working with the British government to make sure all transparency can be achieved and the real criminals involved in their operation can be found and tried.

BODY IN DEVON WOODS WAS FENIX JONES

The body of a man found dead in Devon woods was indeed the American non-powered hero Fenix Jones and he had been dead for at least two years.

The body was discovered several months ago where his costume but nothing could be confirmed until S.H.I.E.L.D had run a full investigation into the hero to confirm the identity of the body. As soon as the body was identified S.H.I.E.L.D swiftly moved on the man who has been believed to have been impersonating the hero for the last two years.

The fake Fenix Jones was arrested in Philadelphia in a dawn raid and has been confirmed to be a mutant with shape shifting capabilities. He has been charged with the murder of the real Jones and is a secure location under S.H.I.E.L.D's watchful eye.

'Over the last two years this imposter has moved amongst the non powered hero communities of the world and built a very effective and strong support structure in the aim of stopping criminals and gathering information so that when they are stopped they can be properly convicted,' Said Director of S.H.I.E.L.D Steve Rogers. 'We need to find out why someone would kill a man so they could presumably put someone more effective in his place.It would be fair to say we are struggling to find the motive for Jones's murder.'

S.H.I.E.L.D have confirmed they are broadening their investigation to a world wide hunt for clues and evidence though they also said they would have to look at the strong links between Britain, Jones's murder and several other high profile incidents in the last few weeks and months.

(REPORT FROM LAST WEEK)

RIOT TEARS THROUGH LONDON

Riots tore through the heart of London on a night of shame claiming the lives of twelve people and injuring hundreds. The disturbance first started when large groups gathered outside MI13's London offices demanding accountability for their rising budget, off world activities and an answer to the claims of high level corruption that had been levelled on them by Utopia.

With-in hours the crowd had gathered to become thousands in number and by four o clock P.M the crowd started throwing bricks at the offices and small groups within the crowd had started surging forward and attacking the building.

Police responded to the threat along with members of MI13's non powered forces and repelled the mob using batons, tear gas and water cannons. The Police gave chase as the crowd broke into the streets of London and made hundreds of arrests but that was not the end of the riot as those that escaped were joined by thousands of rioters who set fire to cars, looted shops and attacked the police lines with petrol bombs, bricks and finally firearms!

As the shots started to come from the crowd the authorities responded and the streets quickly filled with the dead and the dying, their blood mingling on the dark wet pavements of London in December.

The worst of the gun related exchanges was in Oxford Street where three police officers and five rioters were shot dead. The death tole of the incident is believed to have been restricted by The Crusader Anathema who first defeated the gun men and then administered healing to those worst injured to save their lives.

As Anathema took to the streets his team mates were taking the fight to MI13 at their main airfield base, but to think Anathema was given the easy shift would be a mistake as he was seen engaging in over seventy incidents with-in the riot and is attributed to having saved the lives of hundreds through physical, powered and verbal interventions.

The clear up of the capital is well under way but the truth of the Riots is that yet again, the Rioters took to the streets with the intent to Riot, The Police took to the streets and escalated the violence with heavy handed tactics and A Crusader proved to be the only person trying to make a real difference.

(Report from One Week ago)

THOR DESTROYED BY KARLSON

Thor and Sigur Karlson met for the first time off the shore of Hammerfest in Norway, the worlds most northerly town, home to nine thousand people. After a short verbal argument Thor attacked Karlson and in the ensuing conflict half of the small town was destroyed.

When the battle was finished Thor lay defeated and Karlson retrieved the Avengers legendary hammer and then threw it clear into the sky and presumably into space. With the hammer gone Karlson seemed to drain energy from the downed Avenger.

He addressed the Press briefly before departing.

'I, Sigur Karlson, have defeated the man who has called himself a god. I, Sigur Karlson, have brought the war criminal to the ground, stripped him of power, cast aside his weapon and will deliver him before the courts to answer for his crimes.

I, Sigur Karlson, will bring justice to all, balance through force, and peace through superior fire power.

I am the ultimate weapon on this globe and the wielder of a mighty power, a power from the old world, a power I will use to crush my enemies, see them driven before me and hear the screams of their dying criminal empires.

Black King? I come for you!'

UTOPIA CONFIRMS KARLSON'S CLAIMS

When Sigur Karlson claimed to have found a sociological infection in the heart of Europe many put his views down to madness but last night Utopia's leader Scott Summers held a press conference that will be sure to make many people very nervous.

Summers called the press together in San Fransisco bay and delivered a speak that sent shock waves across the world.

'I lead a team of X-Men over to investigate the disturbing rumours of a rise in the power of an organisation known as The Hellfire Club and last week I found that those rumours were true.

A dark and evil influence is currently twisting its way through the whole of Europe and is a clear and present danger to all free people's in the world. I know that this influence stretches far and wide and touches many places and controls many interests. Here on Utopia we have felt its influence grasping at us and have dealt with its corrupting taint by securing those we believe to be under its terrible force.

We can reveal that several mutants have been detained and quarantined and we believe that the only way to remove this blight is to purge it at its source which is in the enforcement agencies and political structures of Europe.

We believe it would be wrong for Utopia to take this action on foreign soil and so have left it to superhuman teams in those countries effected to take action. 

The Crusaders and La Resistance have the power and the expertise needed to route out this evil but they must have the backing of the people if their mission is to be successful. We urge people to get behind their heroes, support them as they shake the windows and rattle the doors of the established power and deliver a police presence that isn't under the influence of corrupt forces.'

With that announcement Scott Summers retreated to the rogue state of Utopia refusing to answer any questions.

The indication from the mutant leader is clear as he named both Crusaders and La Resistance that both France and Britain have been heavily influence by the Hellfire Club. A claim that has been denied fiercely by MI13.

'I don't think this man can be trusted to tie his shoelaces let alone judge the state of our defencive and policing capabilities,' stated Thomas Cauldron outside the MI13 base earlier today. 'The fact that this man is the leader of A ROGUE state that is consumed by paranoia and violence is not lost on us here at MI13. 

Should we trust the rantings of a clearly delusional man or back an agency that has been delivering from its very conception? The choice is clear to me and if I have any advice for The Crusaders it would be to make sure they remember their good working relationship with MI13 and not throw away any grace we have offered them in the past to pursue the rantings of a madman.'

Even with the strong warning from MI13 there are stronger rumours still that the Crusaders are indeed intent on taking the fight to the under fire agency. If they do there will meet with serious resistance.  

SIGUR KARLSON BATTLES THOR AT HAMMERFEST

S.W.O.R.D save thousands! Crusaders in area!

The agent believed to be at the centre of the panic at both S.H.I.E.L.D and S.W.O.R.D turned up in spectacular fashion and was revealed to be Agent Brand, the head of the agency that is sworn to protect the Earth from extra-terrestrial threats.

Agent Brand was found on the Eastern coast of southern Egypt with over a thousand people she had just rescued from a group of alien people traffickers. The victims had been snatched from coastlines all over the world and were disoriented and eager to return home following their period of captivity.

Brand was quick stress that her agency, known as S.W.O.R.D is more than capable of detecting and dealing with threats from both space and other dimensions if need be.

'S.W.O.R.D is a highly skilled task force that you never see in action and you never see us in action because we have dealt with the threat before it becomes a serious problem. This is a typical case for us up to the part where it took me a week to bring the bad guys down.

No arrests were made as the culprits have been ejected from our space already.

I would like thank the Crusaders who aided in the rescue and who applied themselves to the task with competence.'

It is rare for the Crusaders to be seen outside of the U.K and some have suggested this foray into the international scene may be something to do with the mysterious message left by Sigur Karlson earlier today though we cannot confirm that this is the case.

Self Professed Thunder God Issues Statement

Sigur Karlson; the man claiming to be the true Thunder God of Nordic legend, has made an on-line statement that has left many baffled as to its meaning.

Last night Karlson went live on youtube and left this message, a message intended for his enemies.
 

MI13, S.H.I.E.L.D and Interpol are yet to comment on the message and its meaning but it seems clear it has created a storm in San Fransico where the rogue mutant state known as 'Utopia' where said to be looking into the situation and watching the news agencies and the authorities with interest.

Union Jack Wanted for Questioning!

MI13 have shockingly announced that Union Jack, the Ex Crusader, has gone AWOL from her duties at the agency and is wanted for questioning in connection with the leaking of important secrets to terrorists.

Union Jack fled six days ago, reportedly from a combat situation that resulted in the severe injuring of several MI13 agents, and has taken a young member of the MI13 powered branch with her; a young agent known as Aspect.

MI13 spokesman Thomas Cauldron was quick to point out the ex hero was wanted for 'questioning' and is not formally charged with any crime at the present time.

'I have worked with both Union Jack and Aspect in my time at MI13 and always thought them to be brave and honest people,' he told the gathered press.

'To think that they have turned or have always been spies is very hard to believe. This is a strange world with so many complicated situations that I can but hope that this is a misunderstanding or an operational duty that they have seen fit to take alone.

We are aware that sensitive plans, files and documents have been passed to an enemy and illegal organisation and that both Union Jack and Aspect were in some way connected to the events. That doesn't mean they are traitors or spies, its just that clarification needs to be gained on the situations and circumstances of the events.

I'm not saying they have broken our trust or betrayed their comrades on the field of battle though I can confirm that they disappeared from a field of combat and without their support the other members of the MI13 team were severely wounded.

In reality all I'm asking is that they come in and debrief so we can better understand what has taken place. We also know they have something that belongs to MI13 in their possession and we would like it returned so that the amount of distractionary elements surrounding this case can be dealt with effectively and without further confusion.

We have asked the Police and other emergency services to report any sightings of Union Jack or Aspect so that we can have members of MI13 attend the location and convince the two AWOL heroes to come in peacefully.

We would like to assure the public that the two heroes are not considered armed, or dangerous and that they are not, I repeat, not wanted for any crimes. We just want to clarify our position and return them to service as quickly as possible.

Thank You.'

So far Union Jack and Aspect have yet to be spotted and it is believed they are at large somewhere in Great Britain.

  

Vault Reports Twp Escaped Villains

The S.H.I.E.L.D run superhuman containment facility known as 'The Vault' yesterday admitted that two more Villains serving lengthy sentences had managed to escape without the authorities even noticing they were gone!

S.H.I.E.L.D Director Steve Rogers has opened an enquiry into how the two villains, Believed to be The Power Broker and The Wizard, were able to not only escape undetected but to have gone a week without being listed as missing. 

Director Rogers was not forthcoming with answers at the press conference. 'We know that two Villains have escaped from this facility and we know that No prison is inescapable when one has conviction and ingenuity. That being said we have to ask ourselves who is helping these criminals escape and why?

No one breaks out The Wizard and expects him to follow a plan unless he himself would gain something from it.

Be assured we will find these two criminals and return them to their cells and we will track their accomplices no matter where they hide. Thank You.'

This recent breakout brings the total amount of villains to have escaped S.H.I.E.L.D custody in the last seven months to a total of seventeen. A record Rogers is obviously not happy about.

MI13 Deny's Heavy Handed Tactics

MI13 have appeared before a commons committee to answer critics who have suggested the agency is using disproportionate force on a regular basis. MI13 spokesman Thomas Cauldron answered questions about the recent killings of three wanted super villains and the two incidents in public hospitals that saw six MI13 non powered agents killed and the people they were guarding assassinated.

Mr Cauldron came out of the committee meeting all guns blazing.

'What we have to do is ask what people expect from MI13,' said Cauldron outside Westminister straiht after the meeting. 'Do people like the lack of powered attacks in this country? Do they like being able to count on an agency to respond quickly when required and step in when the non professionals can't contain the situation or are taking a beating? Do they like peace and quite and relative safety?

Do the people of this country really want MI13 to be a toothless organisation, unable to respond to threats with a reasonable amount of force? I don't think so.

The fear of being perceived as the aggressor is not something that should choke our ability to fight for our freedom and its not going to result in our agents going in 'gently' only to be slaughtered. We have lost too many agents recently...most importantly the Ex-New Crusader 'Fury'.

Should we just line up coffins for our agents because they have to go into battle with one hand tied behind their backs? Is that what you would have us do?

No. No it isn't and I think we all know the problem here. The problem is not with MI13 and it's not with The Crusaders, no matter how disorganised they may be. No. I think the problem is with an entirely different body in this country.'

Mr Cauldron later apologised for any offence he may have caused to the Committee but refused to retract his statements.

Miliband Calls For Investigation Into Cloning

The Crusaders found themselves at the centre of another storm this week when rumours of illegal Cloning became a source of a parliamentary debate. 

The labour leader Ed Miliband called for a public enquiry into the hero team known as The Crusaders and their 'behind the scenes activities.' Suggesting the team may be breaching public health and safety rules and international laws regarding the prohibition of Cloning. 

Not content with that enquiry call Miliband also suggested that biological samples be taken from the Crusader members Anathema, Apex and Sinner to check for signs of possible Sentry virus.

So far the government has not confirmed they are looking seriously into pursuing these lines of questioning but if more pressure is brought to bare on the Prime Minister it seems likely that some inquest will need to be mounted.

   

CENTRAL LONDON ATTACK CLAIMS 22 LIVES

The Crusaders broke with the current incarnations tradition and spoke to the press at the end of a dark day for them and London that saw twenty two dead and hundreds injured.

The U-Foes; an American super villain quartet most famous for battling the Hulk, were the source of the pain that tore at central London last week and caused so much damage in the process. In a very short battle with the Crusaders one of their members; 'Ironclad', managed to create several localised earthquakes that caused millions of pounds of damage and created shock waves that tore the streets apart, causing the loss of life.

The Crusaders fought the U-Foes as well as they could, trying to contain the deadly force that they represented, but were unable to stop them from devastating the surrounding area and taking the lives they did. They did however use a as yet unconfirmed teleportation ray that removed three of the four U-Foes from the battlefield. The fourth member, Vector, was left dead in the streets, killed when his team mate unleashed his super strength onto the streets.

Vector was confirmed to have died of a multiple fractures to the skull and his cause of death was similar to the Twelve policemen, two ambulance staff and six members of the public who died.

Following the battle the beaten and some clearly badly injured Crusaders helped the rescue teams for many hours before finally moving away.

In the week that has followed work has begun on making the area safe to traverse and work in once more and MI13 have confirmed that all three remaining members of the U-Foes were caught in the Devon area but were killed by MI13 agents when they would not surrender.

The Crusaders leader, Gamma, left this message on the night of the incident.

'We are not the Crusaders who often make public statements but we wanted to express our deep regret for the events of today and our shock at the heinous terrorist attack which has been carried out in the heart of this great country and our regret that our actions were not swift enough to be able to prevent this loss of life.

We pass our condolences on to all those who have lost loved ones and all of those who have been injured and we will do our best to prevent this from happening again and to help all the victims on this sad and tragic day.

That's all.'

The Crusaders have themselves been criticised by some camps claiming that they simply didn't understand the battle they needed to fight and were clearly out powered, but others have pointed out that this was clearly an attack meant to create as much damage and loss of life as possible while drawing the Crusaders to the heart of the event.

Another shock from the battle was the appearance of The Crusader 'Sinner' who was reported dead and confirmed to have been so for at least two weeks and yet was back fighting with the team.Some experts are claiming that the Crusaders are obviously running an illegal and unsanctioned cloning operation while others have pointed to the hero Anathema as the source of 'Sinner's' Resurrection and have suggested that it is clearly this sort of power that could lead to the 'Sentry virus' taking a foothold in this dimension once more.

Clearly this team is soon to be in the middle of a media, spiritual and political storm that could threaten the teams very existence.

Sigur Karlson Defeats The Wrecking Crew

Sigur Karlson, ex M.P from the fractured Norweigan parlament engaged the American Villain team known as 'The Wrecking Crew' in combat and defeated them single handedly on Sunday as they were trying to escape with a large consignment of diamonds they had just stolen from a jewellers.

Three of the Wrecking Crew still had their weapons while their leader, obviously diminished in power because of his missing weapon, did not. Karlson landed in the middle of the road and attacked the legendarily tough villains with a hammer that he fired lightening from. 

The battle was brutal but within a matter of minutes the Villains were downed. Karlson then scattered the diamonds to the crowds of wounded and helpers and told them that the wealth would soon 'be shared by all.'

Many experts are placing Karlson as being a 'level five' powered individual, ranking him in amongst the strongest Crusaders and placing him in main stay Avenger status. 

The Norweigan government have put an arrest warrant out on the 'hero' but so far have found no answer as to who is going to bring this possibly rogue element in.

MI13 In M25 Crash Cover-Up

Questions mounted yesterday when a freelance journalist named Steven Hung uncovered a bizarre operation to fabricate the existence of a Rugby team that were killed in a crash on the M25 three weeks ago.

Though a minibus was indeed destroyed in a fatal crash that claimed the lives of twenty people the Rugby club the men in the minibus played for turned out to be a non existent team that had had only been added to the pub fixtures lists a week before the crash.

None of the men in the crash have been identified and Metropolitan police are currently running computer simulators to digitally reconstruct the faces of the men killed in the hope they will be identified that way.

In an even more frightening twist the cover-up seems to have been run by MI13 and their agents.

Yesterday Thomas Cauldron was unavailable to comment on the events and assured the press he would give a statement as soon as he was able to do so.

Crusaders Battle At Police Station

The metropolitan police have praised the Crusaders for their restraint on Tuesday, managing to successfully containing a powered conflict in a London Police Station in Newham and so protecting the officers in the building above and the community around the station itself.

The Crusaders were at Strafford Police Station to collect the body of their fallen comrade 'Sinner' when they were attacked by a group of powered individuals that outnumbered them two to one.

The Crusaders assailants were known to authorities as being young criminals with unknown affiliations who were delivered into custody nearly two years ago by the very same hero team that delivered them on Tuesday.

Interpol stepped in and took the young criminals into custody before MI13 could arrest the ten villains and had a catchment unit at the station with-in twenty minutes and had them transported to a secure facility. The Crusaders left the scene quickly with the body of their fallen team mate without comment but ex Crusader and MI13 officer Fury was on the scene to speak to the press.

'We have attended the scene and its obvious that The Crusaders are in full command of the situation. They were attacked in the basement by a far larger force of very dangerous powered individuals and to be honest they bested them on every level,' she said while flanked by Blade and ex Avenger Black Knight.

'I can confirm they have left the building and that they contained the fight into the area that they knew was reinforced so limiting the amount of damage done to the building and surrounding area. It's a sign of class and confidence and I know I speak for everyone at MI13 and Both Director Wisdom and Deputy Director Chapman when I say we couldn't be happier to know The Crusaders are out on the streets making a real difference/'

CRUSADER'S BODY FOUND IN THAMES

A shocking development in Britain's hero community unfolded this morning when the Crusader know as Sinner was found floating dead in the Thames.

Sinner

The police and MI13 were quick to respond to the report and take the body into safe keeping but not before an private expert team of investigators managed to look over the body and have released their findings on the Internet.

They have concluded that the body of the hero 'Sinner' had been in the water approximately two weeks and that his body is believed to have probably been in the storm drains and was almost certainly washed out into view by the increased rainfall over the weekend.

In even more horrifying news they concluded that the hero suffered an unpleasant death having been badly beaten in a static position and hanged for a prolonged period of time before finally the cause of death clearly being drowning. 

'Sinner' was last seen in New York in amidst a battle between the currently warring X-Men and Avengers and that was surely close to the time of death that the experts have put on the hero. He was obviously a tough and battle hardened hero having come through the war the Crusaders have waged against crime and the far right over the last three years but perhaps the possible isolationary attitude that has been his calling card in the last six months or so had left him vulnerable to attack.

Clearly whoever did kill 'Sinner' had a grudge that was played out in his brutal demise. 

At this time none of the surviving Crusaders have commented on the news though surely it can only be a matter of time before they move to solve their comrades death and punish those responsible.       

Norway Government In shocking revelations

Controversial Norwegian political figure Sigur Karlson resigned this morning in a shocking way; by punching the prime minister of Norway on live national television and exposing him as a Nazi!

Karlson had called the press conference and had asked the Prime Minister of Norway, Magnus Wagner, to be there on stage with him when he delivered his speech. A speech that is likely to go down in the history of their country as one of the most explosive speeches ever delivered.

'Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming. I have gathered you here today to announce my resignation from my post as an M.P representing the people in this great country. I know that many believe me to be a man of integrity and intelligence and so perhaps would wonder why I would quit a post that I obviously love.

There is one simple answer to that question. I cannot abide corruption.

The gentleman behind me, Mr Magnus Wagner, has been a great man, representing a great nation...on the surface, and yet underneath he has been a strong and true member of the organisation known as Hydra for the last twenty years.'

At this point the room erupted into noise as Karlson stepped back indicated to some men that arrived with him to block the stairs leading up to the podium. Mr Wagner stood but did not try to escape and with chaos ensuing Karlson continued.

'I discovered the links between our wonderful Prime Minister and Hydra purely by accident and though I have collected all the proof you would ever need and am currently having copies delivered to every news agency in the land I wanted to express my shock and disgust at this revelation.

How could this man be so high up in our fair and just system and yet be so obviously corrupt and evil? Simple, you are all sheep! You read what you are told to read, believe what you are told to believe! I am resigning because of this filthy criminal that sits behind me but I am also resigning because of the filth that sits before me! In this room there are at least ten members of the press who have known about this because they too have allowed Hydra and other affiliated groups to hide here and have suppressed any news that would uncover the horrible truth! The TRUTH THAT WE ARE ALL GUILTY!

GUILTY OF LYING DOWN WITH THE ENEMY AND SUPPORTING MURDERERS AND BUTCHERS!' Animated, arms swinging wildly Karlson indicated for the doors to be locked by more men that arrived with him.

'Now comes the reckoning. I know who you are and I will expose you, no matter your age, with the true might of the people of the north, with the fist given me by THE TRUE THOR!'

Spinning Karlson delivered a blow to Wagner that smashed him from the podium and broke most of the bones in his face. He then proceeded to attack ten more people in the crowd, still being broadcast live to the world.

At the end of this fluffy of violence Karlson stretched his hand into the air transformed into a figure of with obviously great mystical power. As the crowd trembled he delivered his final warning.

'I, the true envoy of Thor have power now to lance this evil from our land and hunt it wherever I find it! If you are guilty! If you have laid down with the enemy then beware! I AM COMING FOR YOU!!'

At this time the Avenger Thor is yet to comment on the events taking place in Norway and the parliament has been called to consider how best to move forward from these revelations and the obvious ones still to come.

 

Body Found In Woods

Police have confirmed that the body of a man was found in woods this morning by a dog walked and that they are investigating. 

The man discovered the body when he was walking his dog in local woodland in Devon. Due to high winds in the area many of the trees had been felled churning up the ground and so exposing the body. 

The police have not released any information at this time and claim their investigation is 'ongoing' but unofficial reports suggest the body was in some sort of spandex costume when it was discovered.

 

MI13 Investigates Hospital Shootings

Thomas Cauldron

Its been a long week for MI13 following the hospital shootings just six days ago that claimed the lives of five MI13 officers and their two charges but yesterday they came out fighting there corner claiming; 'There is no security breach in our organisation.'

'The fact is we have seen the crime figures decrease to a record low in this country, that's due to the hard work of the police, Interpol, the intelligence services and MI13,' spat Thomas Cauldron as he stood outside MI13's main base just outside of London. 'We have had a lot of input into the current state of affairs and this incident doesn't signal there is a huge problem in MI13, in fact it shows we have very few as this is the first real incident outside of our control in the last twelve months.'

MI13 spokesman Thomas Cauldron is not one to let his organisation take criticism lying down but the stance taken suggested there may be strain finally showing on his usually unflappable face.

When first it was reported the incident it seemed MI13 were going to be as secretive as usual about the details of the events until Dr Marcus Maudlin went live on camera and claimed that the agents had gunned each other down and that The Crusaders were on the scene and could verify his version of events. This revelation brought MI13 into full on press assault mode and saw Mr Maudlin hit with a silencing order until they could get their official story sorted.

A day later they came back with this press release.

'On Tuesday night there was an incident in two hospitals involving MI13 un-powered operatives and sadly five MI13 officers were killed. The two security details failed in their mission to protect two persons of interest (one situated in each hospital) and MI13 is now investigating fully into suggestions that it was an internal failure of security with-in both teams that led to the deaths of their charges.

We cannot comment further until our investigation is completed in entirety and the facts have been ascertained.'

Cauldron came out of the pits with real fire yesterday and it was clear he was not in the mood for half measures.

'Our investigation has concluded and we have discovered that an agent in each of the security teams had been 'gotten too' by a criminal organisation that wanted both of the men they were protecting dead, they succeeded,' he fired at the crowd of assembled press and banks of cameras. 'This is an unfortunate event but one we have dealt with now.'

Seeing as the two men are dead and their targets hit it more seems, Mr Cauldron, that THEY have been dealt with and not the criminal organisation, but please, continue.

'We have assigned units to deal with the problem and to liaise with the police so that the right men and women are brought to justice. This is, I would like to point out, not a system wide problem. We have hundreds of operatives and run dozens of operations a month that the press never hears about. Why? Because we are very good at what we do and that is a fact.

On the night in question we were had a unit tracking a team of assassins who had entered London, probably to commit a serious crime. We helped in the containment and restricting of any damage they could do. So you can see we are on top of the situation completely.'

Cauldron may be the press officer for MI13 but there can be no doubt that MI13's 'external' operations unit is almost certainly draining a vast amount of their budget and with their efforts being focused in other places it seems clear there is a greater chance of breaches like these happening more frequently in the future.  

Karlson Calls For Thor To Face War Crimes Charges

Controversial Norwegian politician and outspoken ecological activist Sigur karlson has called for the Avenger Thor to be questioned over activities he engaged in during the second World War, claiming that the blood on his hands was washed off by the Americans but not by Europe.

It is true that The Avenger and hero did indeed fight for the Nazi's when he first appeared back on earth in the late 1930's and that he engaged the Invaders in combat several times before he was shown he was fighting for the wrong side.

At the time he was exonerated through the Invaders who claimed he was being influenced by the occult, though that seems far from likely after so many years of seeing this god amongst us and knowing he has a will of Iron. Karlson is keen for the hero to appear before a panel of experts and judges to assess his statement and decide if the matter needs to be taken any further.

'I am not saying Thor must be thrown in prison or that he hasn't done great things for this world. I am however saying this man has not answered the charges laid upon him. The Americans are not the world's police, they do not get to tell people which laws they can and cannot ignore!

Thor was active in Scandinavia in the war, fighting for Hitler! Has he no blood on his hands at all? Even though he engaged in several encounters with normal soldiers and resistance fighters?! RUBBISH!

We want him to answer the questions the Americans wouldn't ask him. We want him to say he is sorry for the lives he took and take a stand finally against the Racists, lunatics and Fascist's that he was once in bed with. Is this too much to ask?'

The legal path of this process is a long one and the Avengers have already stated that they feel Thor doesn't need to stand for any charges that are obviously ridiculous. The god himself is still silent on the subject.

Aberline Verdict Looms

The report into the continued catatonic condition of War criminal Richard Aberline AKA 'Cromwell' is thought to be ready to be published next week with the conclusion that he will never regain consciousness. If that is the the reports findings its believed the government will file to have treatment withdrawn from Britain's most famous criminal effectively allowing him to die.

Aberline has been in a coma since his arrest nearly two years again when he assaulted the Maze prison in an attempt to kill its most famous resident; former New Crusader 'Union Black.' Since then he has lain in a state of torpor being kept alive by machines.

It was the families of his victims during the occupation of '04 that gathered the money together to commission the report that is almost certain to conclude that Aberline is 'brain dead' and so should have his equipment shut off so people can finally gain some closure.

    

Tragic M25 Crash Kills Whole Rugby Club

An entire amature Rugby club were killed yesterday when their coach collided head long with a lorry transporting petroleum on the M25. The lorries load ignited on impact instantly killing the driver of the truck and destroying the coach it struck also killing all nineteen members of the Emperors Guard Rugby club.

The police have expressed their horror at the crash and extended their condolences to the families of those killed but have said it is lucky that the crash happened in the early hours of Saturday morning rather than at peak times when the motorway would have been full and the death tole much higher.

It's believed that neither of the drivers were driving erratically and police studying the footage say the accident was the result of a freak tire explosion on the coach carrying the sportsman which saw their vehicle strike the partition barrier between the lanes and carry over it and into the coming lorry.

MI13 Foils Terrorist PLot

MI13 spokesman Thomas Cauldron confirmed today that MI13 made 23 arrests in central London last Tuesday and that no operatives were hurt during the operation.

'Its clear that the war on terror is reaching a new phase, we believe the final phase; where information gathering can safely predict and intercept almost any threat that requires complex ed organisation or the gathering of sensitive  materials or information,' claimed Mr Cauldron during a rare MI13 press conference.

'The fact that there has not been a successful internal assault on the British Isles in over eighteen months, leading us to believe that of course our strategies are working! MI13 is now very clear in its vision of the future and of how best to direct our pending operations.'

Mr Cauldron has been criticised for practically 'inviting' terrorists to 'come and have a go' with his wild boasts and yet MI13's recent record has been every bit as airtight as he has claimed. This is believed to be a strong reason as to why MI13's budget has seen an increase of twenty percent in the last eight months to a staggering £3,000,000,000 a year.

MI13 director Peter Wisdom may have been become a press recluse along with his deputy director John Chapman but Thomas Cauldron is fast becoming the corporate face of MI13 and its forces.

Electrical Storms Disrupt Phone Networks

All the major mobile phone providers were left unable to explain the two hour disruption to their services in Britain yesterday though meteorologists are claiming it was due to a large electrical storm of unknown origin that sparked into life above central England at mid day.

As yet no-one has been able to confirm that was the cause of the disruption but they have been quick to deny that all of the networks were hacked at the same time stating they found no evidence at all of a breach of their security.  

Crime Figures Prove Crusaders Pedigree

It was a question that tore through the British community when a rag tag group of vigilantes started calling themselves Crusaders twenty months ago. The media latched onto the violent, shadowy figures who seemed camera shy and asked questions of their commitment, power levels, and whether they had the right to call themselves Crusaders at all. That time is gone and has been gone for a long time but the statistics released yesterday by the Government confirmed what we have felt for the last year or so; Britain has never been in better hands!

Officially the national crime rate has fallen to an all time low, attributed to greater intelligence sharing between the powered community and the police, a 'triple presence' on the streets of Police, Runners/Thief Takers and Crusaders, and the greater commitment made by international policing agencies to collaborate in the aim of smashing terrorism and organised crime. Not only has the crime rate of Britain plummeted even further down than when the 'great' New Crusader teams that had heroes like Valiant, The Yob, Union Black, The Falcon, The Green Man, Stardust, Thunaer, Shatterproof, Captain Britain and Bound protected the streets but it has fallen all across Europe and Asia too.

Could this be 'The Runners' effect? Is it a triumph for the formalised forces of order throughout the world? Or could this be the effect a self empowered team of heroes can have on the psyche of the population? The New Crusaders had come to feel more and more 'establishment'over the years but that was broken with this hard edged group of chancers. Heroes who were made to fight for their victories against drug dealers and Nazis not Mad Villains and powerhouse cacklers from other dimensions!

Is it the tough, earthy, vulnerable grit of these current Crusaders that has captured the world by force and made it more just or did they come along at just the right time? Who knows how the battle against the far right would have gone if not for the Crusaders and the vast amount of arrests they made? If you are to look for the start of the flame that purged Europe of its most vile sociological infection then The Crusaders (backed by the Bowstreet Runners and their fallen leaders) are at the heart of it and the battle that freed Britain of its filthy ideology. That flame spread out across the continent, lit in London it raged across the land and lept the channel! Through France and Germany and beyond the flames of freedom and respect destroyed all the hiding places of the extremists and left them standing for the authorities to deal with.

This was started by The Crusaders.

Now Asia has smashed its drug labs, H.Y.D.R.A and the N.M.A have been all but destroyed and the Maggia battled as never before in Italy.

This was started by The Crusaders.

Its been two months since we have seen The Crusaders in full action, when they faced a group of powered mercenaries who attempted to steal the crown Jewels. The Blizzard and a host of power armoured raiders were no match for The Crusaders then and no one has been since evidently as Britain seems to be a no-go zone for American villains looking to make an easier score.

With these incredible achievements under their belts we can only say that The Crusaders may not be as powerful as the teams that came before them, but they have burnt far brighter!

By Simone Diamonde

Interpol/Hong Kong connection Destroys Mutation Narcotic

The three year war against the mutation inducing drugs 'Damage' and 'Jet' has been won according to Interpol and it's Hog Kong partners in china following the arrest of over three hundred drug dealers, manufacturers and addicts across the globe.

Officer in charge of the operation and all round super cop Detective Inspector of H.K.P.D Fung Chi has said the recent operation was concluded a month ago but could not be reported about before now as several lose ends were left unaccounted for, but following the arrest of Lee Chow Lung; a Chinese crime lord, the Dt Inspector is happy to conclude the issue.

'We have disrupted their ability to supply, destroyed their ability to manufacture and incarcerated those that would demand,' stated the rising star of Hong Kong and in fact world policing. 'On every level we have addressed this narcotic and removed it, purged it from our system.'

There has not been a crime related to either killer drugs in over a month now the answer seems clear as to why. Many experts have suggested that it is too early to call victory over this issue but no-one could fault the results achieved by the wonder cop and his teams of highly co-ordinated officers.

 

X-MEN AND AVENGERS SITUATION INTESIFIES

Reports coming from the battle grounds that have appeared across America confirm that The Avengers and The X-Men are nowhere near finding any common ground in their current feud concerning the Mutant known as Hope.

Reports of millions of dollars of damage and several unconfirmed reports of serious injuries to well known heroes like The Thing and Spiderman are spreading like wildfire and pouring fuel on the fire that burns between these two powerhouses teams.

RUNNERS KEEP UP MOMENTUM

Its been eighteen months since the tragic deaths of the Bow Street Runners leaders 'The Yeti' and 'Freestyle', both gunned down in Brixton by a mysterious assassin who was never caught. In the time since their deaths the 'Bow Street Runners' have transformed under the umbrella leadership of the Amrerican 'fake-cape' Fenix Jones into the global network known as 'The Runners'; a network of un-powered citizens that share information from country to country.

Last week The Runners foiled a plot to bomb the Eiffel Tower in Paris, a bomb described by British Runners leader 'Nightwatch' as 'a last effort to spread terror by the dying far right arseholes.'

Its true that the crime rate is falling globally in the light of S.H.I.E.L.D's new 'no-excuses' policy, greater communication between the higher level of multinational policing authorities and the explosion of 'The Runners' as a global force. But things have not gone without a hitch; with 'CurbStomp' serving a three year sentence for using excessive force, the blinding of 'Ashtray' in a knife related incident and the death of 'Scotch Kiss' in a gang related hit in May 'The Runners' appear to still have a long way to climb.

 

LEYLAND CORPORATION CONFIRM CONTINUED RESTRUCTURE

Leyland Industries confirmed yesterday that they would continue with their efforts to 'Restructure and refocus' their business following the sale of just over fifty percent of all their subsidiary companies, accounting for just over twenty percent of Leyland corporations overall net worth.

The latest sales were believed to be directed by multi-Billionaire owner of the company and recluse Francis Leyland. Leyland inherited the company just eighteen months ago after a D.N.A test proved him to be the sole heir to his deceased father's company, a company that has seen a climb in its profit to expenditure ratio but a loss in overall profits due to the restructuring that has been a hallmark of Francis Leyland's reign as king of the castle.

Francis Leyland

Insiders claim that Leyland industries is being turned into a more agile and stronger company but experts are worried that by consolidating thier assets into a tighter framework will make them more vulnerable to global economic downturns. Claims being downplayed by economist Marko Casscow.

Casscow, a leading global financial trends expert, says Leyland Industries are ready to take the world by storm again.

'Its clear that Leyland Industries have restructured and fed Francis Leyland a vast amount of wealth, but look closer. They are investing in South America, Asia, China and Africa (particularly Botswana). They are doing some very good business and expect Leyland Industries to continue to feed Francis to keep him quiet so they can really kick on and make this next century theirs for the taking.'

Francis Leyland is currently worth an estimated seven and A half Billion pounds of which at least two billion is believed to have been transformed into a personal fund for the company owner.

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